Mamadrama

Behavior Problems

I am reading a book called "How to Behave So Your Preschooler Will, Too!" by Sale Severe, Ph.D. I bought it in a effort to be a better parent and because the back of the book says, "Bringing up your young child doesn't have to be stressful. Dr. Sal Severe shows you the secrets to raising a happy. well-behaved preschooler." These are secrets I want in on! I want to have them at my fingertips and use them frequently. I want to smile at other parents as they wheel by in the grocery store with a screaming kid while my two angels are quietly walking next to me, holding hands, making daisy chains, sharing bible stories.....you get the picture.

I am learning, thus far, that I have already done several things completely wrong and it is going to take a whole lot of work to fix this broken wagon. See, I have shamed my children, spanked my children, mocked my children, told them to shut up, kicked them in the head, beat them profusely about the head and shoulders. Well, not really but I haven't really been looking at this child rearing as an everyday learning process for my preschoolers. I think I kind of thought that by two or so I was home free. It would be easier some how. I mean after all they have been here for two years. They should know how to act by now.  I have been wrong. My friends, I tell you that 5 year olds are a pain in the neck as compared to two year olds and the techniques we have been using on him are not working any longer. So, we are now trying a different approach. Positive parenting. I am going to literally praise him until he turns into the angel I KNOW HE CAN BE! I am going to say, "Landry you ate that cereal so well. You are the strongest most fabulous boy ever." I am going to play Stuart Smalley videos all day. I am going to love and hug and kiss him until he is saturated with positivity. Then after I put him to bed I will quietly drive to a remote location and scream my head off, kick trees and any people who might be in the way, throw stuff, cuss and get out all of the anger I have been stuffing and suppressing all day in an effort to raise well-behaved kids.

Update of the day

Did I mention a while back that we have ringworm. This is a freakish fungus! It is not a worm as the name implies, but a fungus that raises the skin in the shape of a ring. Not really wormish looking just circular. It itches like the dickens and  it takes forever to go away. Landry had it on his head. He gave it to me. I had it on my back. I gave it back to him on his back and now I think it is on his face next to his ear. If you ever get this stuff go directly to your doctor and get the meds. We have been fighting it since March. Tonight Landry asked if his ringworm was coming back was he gonna have to take that idiot medicine again. I know how he feels!

Be Careful What You Say

I call my son lots of funny names. ie. nutcracker, doodle bug, bubbles, bubbie, nuthead, Lands, Landrydoodle... He calls me lots of funny names in return.  Last night while explaining to us that he was wearing a "random hat" (which was funny in itself) he said, "I got it from you, you crack head." HILARIOUS! He told me the other day that he didn't know why he had grown up so funny. He really is funny! Oh, by the way he has lost his two front teeth. He looks so cute and kind of spits when he talks. The tooth fairy gave him $5 per tooth! She's loaded!

What is chocolate milk, really/

One must start this entry by saying that Sophie Joy is finally living up to her name. She is becoming a real joy. I mean honestly, she is the easier of the two kids right now. I don't know what has happened, but in the last couple of months she has turned the corner. I like to think it is my wonderful parenting skills. If I wasn't such a lunatic freaked out mom, I would actually believe that. However, I live with me and I live with her and I am certain that she is acting of her own free will. She acts of her own free will pretty much most of the time.  I have somehow figured out how to sometimes manipulate her into thinking that my directions or instructions are her own idea. Sometimes, this works. For the most part this works. Anywho, more later.

OHH- funny conversation... Sophie doesn't like Chocolate milk because it is "moo cow poop!" I wish I thought that, it would keep me from drinking it!

Funny Hudson

This is from Gretchen:

Today at "old Mcdonald's", Hudson did something that made Steve and I  laugh until I cried.  It may not be that funny to you, but considering his age it was really cute.  He was ready to go play, but Steve told him he had to eat another nugget first.  He then pointed over Steve's shoulder and said, "LOOK!" and ran off while we were looking.  We both fell for it because HE'S 3!  Where did he learn to do this???  We laughed so hard.  He is one funny boy!

I haveb't blogged in a while

This is the week of Landry's 5th birthday party. I can't believe he is really this big. He starts kindergarten in August. It really is fun, but it is such an eye opener. He will be gone before we know it. I am so blessed to have had him for five years. I am so blessed to have my kids be healthy and fun and frustrating all in the same breath. I love them. Did you ever think you would love someone so much? Did you ever think you would be challenged in so many ways. I think my greatest challenge is keeping my cool. Being calm and unselfish and remembering to use loving kindness when I discipline and in everything I do. Love your kids. Love them hard!

It's all about potty humor

Two year olds learn so much in so little time and it seems that everything needs to be processed by all five senses as often as possible. Sophie is discovering that she doesn't have a "weenie". Instead she has two bottoms. However, When she is naked as a jay bird she runs around the house doing a little bootie dance and singing, "this my weenie, this my bottom, this my weenie, this my bottom." Happy as a lark.

On a recent trip to McDonald's she sat on a park bench next to the giant plastic Ronald. This particular Ron has one leg crossed over his knee which makes a large triangular space between his legs which is just big enough for Sophie to stick her head in and repeat over and over again, "you have bottom, you have bottom, you have bottom."  Which is exactly what she did. Normally, I wouldn't mind the chatter except that the hollow legs created a megaphone effect thus amplifying the tiny voice......I'm just so proud of her!!!!! It makes my heart glow to see her learning!

We don't let her out often!

Pink for embarrassment. Saw a friend from high school today at Target. Sophie kicked her. Just walked right up and kicked her. Last week, in Target, Sophie was sitting in the cart. She looked up to see a lady next to us. She smiled sweetly and called her "poo poo". Last week all I could say was, "Sorry, she's potty training". Today, I said, "We don't let her out of the house much." I can't imagine what will happen next!

The Boogeyman

According to Hudson, Ed Bradley of 60 Minutes fame is the Boogeyman.  Just thought I should tell you all so you could arm yourselves appropriately!

Spring Break

Remember when spring break was that wonderful time when you didn't have to go to school? Your parents took you on vacation to somewhere fabulous or at least somewhere other than school! There was always the possibility of coming back to school with a great tan or a great facial tan that proved you went skiing. Those were the days. Being a kid. Living on someone else's dime and someone else's time. Wouldn't it be great to be an adult with all the perks and still have your parents take you on spring break? This last week, Landry spent the first part of the week with Grammie and Guy at their lake cabin. He came home completely exhausted, bruised, and with filthy clothes. He had a great time. He played golf with Doc one afternoon, we went to Chuck E. Cheese and this weekend.......Uncle Bo came home. That boy loves my brother. Sure Grammie and Guy are great, Doc and Munie are tons of fun, Poppy and Nanny are definitely a wonderful treat, but Uncle Bo is just about as exciting as Santa Claus and Kortney Paul.  He is pure D Sugar to a kiddo. I'm not really sure what the attraction is. I grew up with this guy. Lived with him for many a year. He farts alot. Doesn't remember a damn thing and really is not all that exciting. He is pretty clever and funny, though. I'm am starting an investigation into what exactly is the"X" factor of Aaron, Santa and Kortney Paul. If I find the secret I will write a book about it and sell it on the Internet. Do you think I will have a market?